Roast My Portfolio

Your portfolio is supposed to get you hired or booked — but if it reads like every other creative's site, it's not doing its job. Paste your portfolio copy, project descriptions, or about section and get four takes: a roast that calls out the generic and the self-congratulatory, a designer's critique on presentation and hierarchy, a customer's read on whether they'd hire you, and a recruiter's first impression in 6 seconds. Free, instant, and the honest feedback your portfolio needs.

The tool evaluates your portfolio the way different audiences actually experience it. The roast persona targets the vague self-descriptions, the filler project descriptions, and the "I'm passionate about design" openers that say nothing. The designer persona assesses how well your copy supports your visual presentation — whether the storytelling structure helps or hurts the overall impression. The customer persona tests whether your positioning makes someone want to hire you. And the recruiter persona simulates the 6-second first scan that determines whether they keep looking or move on.

This is for designers, developers, photographers, writers, freelancers, agencies — anyone whose portfolio site needs to convert visitors into clients, employers, or opportunities. It works whether you're building your first portfolio or refreshing one that hasn't been updated in years. For your full career positioning, pair it with our Roast My Resume tool and our Roast My LinkedIn tool.